The Living Dead

Are there people in your life that are alive but “dead to you?” Well, maybe not “in your life,” but have been involved formerly. It’s a fascinating thing in our overly “connected” world to have former friends/acquaintances that are no longer connected in any way. One ex girlfriend of mine comes to mind, as she was long the only person that I thought of in such terms. She didn’t like my tact in dealing with a particular communication, so she wrote me off. I never tried to rebuild the bridge that she bombed.

Really, only one other person in my life fits that category, and I don’t wish for any more to follow. (Though, it may be that human nature reacts/responds this way for survival, and thus, it’s unavoidable.) The experience is surely uncomfortable for me. I tried to put out the bridge fire that this other person lit, but it burned completely. Occasionally, I look for other ways back to that relationship, but the self caregiver in me offers needed advice.

Twelve step recovery “demands” taking an inventory and actively working through glitches in our personal matrix. Resentment will do us in, they say, and so I seek to be mindful on what my part is in the burnt bridge. It’s a daily undertaking to consider these things/feelings, and today I have been especially taken by this particular zombie. Life is a lovely puzzle.