Head Above Water

Posted by Dane Carder on March 21, 2019

This morning, still feeling the full moon’s effects, I dove deeper into tax preparation. This is a very sensitive subject, as I have a tendency to operate the business side of my studio like a ten year old might do it. I have much to say about this, and maybe I will unpack more of it before the taxes are “due,” but I wanted to share the painting (above), as it’s titled “Head Above Water,” and I really felt like I was treading hard this morning. It’s like I spend the year fueled on cocaine, throwing receipts in various envelopes or folders, not documenting income, and paying people without regard to whom or how much I paid. What’s worse, when the final numbers come in, it’s like I’d been smoking weed all year, sitting on the couch all day binging on chips and ice cream, and delivering pizza at night. I have stated (not publicly, yet), that I am going to get the broken cycles of my business fixed this year… I have limped through too many years with the same internal foes kicking my ass. I am done with that version of me. I am done with not changing what I know I can change. Depression silently went undefeated in the ring with me for a damn long time, but now that I feel I know the opponent’s weakness, I can punch with harder directed jabs. It was a rough morning, but I was able to laugh at myself and shake off the shame with a quick shiver and rebound to have a wonderful day. Thanks for stopping by.

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