19 years

Today, I celebrated nineteen years of sobriety. It’s a very long story, and like many alcoholics/drug addicts, it might make a quality memoir or movie. Lots of drama, comedy, highs and lows, lies, cons, and redemption. One day, I hope to have the attention span and writing skills needed to put a relatively comprehensive story together. Self-centeredness is at the core of the addicts behavior… this would help if I ever choose to write such a memoir. Anyways, my gratitude is immense for all of the forces that brought about the shift in my heart and mind nineteen years ago. The actual day that I stopped was the day that I contracted Rocky Mountain Spotted  Tick Fever… I was a mess (I’m saving the detailed story for later). The Fever helped me make a decision to neither drink nor smoke week for a day or two, and then, I had my follow up meeting after recently having completed DUI school. I was physically spent when I met with the counselors to answer a bevy of questions about my past… drug use, family, emotional, etc. I was probably much more honest than most folks they get at that stage. I wasn’t in any mood to hide from anything, I didn’t have the energy to make shit up. My bottom came up to meet me with the physical symptoms of the Fever, and that opened the door to my Spirit to start the climb out of the hole it had been in for quite some time. Coping mechanisms come in so many forms, and I still have my favorites that I use, but I am grateful that I surrendered drugs and alcohol. I think that I recently saw that May is Mental Health Awareness month (not sure I buy into that sort of marketing), and that’s a lot of what sobriety is to me. Our realities hinge on our thinking, usually… even our feelings seem to go through our thought filters. So, the health of our mental state is of utmost importance. I’ll keep doing this thing, one day at a time. If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with addiction in any form, please know that there is lots of help available (I am happy to be of service). Help is not for those that need it, it is for those that want it.

To be continued…